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There are moments in marriage when something small hits a tender place inside of us, and suddenly our reaction feels much bigger than the moment itself. If you’ve ever surprised yourself during an argument or wondered why you “snap,” this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

In this conversation, I break down the deeper emotional and physiological forces behind ugly fighting — and why these moments don’t mean your marriage is failing. They’re signals pointing to a wound that needs tending.

We explore:

• Why your nervous system can hijack your reactions
• How old childhood stories and emotional injuries show up in marriage
• The role of shame in escalating conflict
• What your big reactions might actually be trying to say
• The healing power of slowing down and repairing
• Gentle, doable steps to help you shift the pattern

If you want to start responding differently — with awareness, compassion, and emotional safety — this episode will give you insight and tools you can use right away.

Timestamps:
00:00 The Moment That Snaps
01:25 Understanding Ugly Fights
02:00 Welcome
02:59 Common Issues
04:06 Normalizing Conflict
05:29 Nervous System Hijack
09:12 Old Stories Activated
11:00 The Shame Loop
12:12 Emotional Needs Beneath Reactions
14:53 The Power of Repair
17:39 Practical Steps
24:30 Reflection
25:20 Courageous Love Conversation
25:41 Closing

If this episode speaks to you and you’re longing for more clarity or direction in your marriage, I’d love to invite you to a Courageous Love Conversation — a one-hour session where we gently explore what’s happening beneath the surface and uncover your next steps forward.

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Start feeling more connected and loved in your marriage today with my free Reclaim More Love in Just 3 Days process. This process will have you learning how to shift your focus, in a healthy way, and nurture thoughts that build connection and transform how you feel about your marriage.

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening(YourTrue)You and being the partner who creates your best version of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

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